Earlier this week, I was asked the common question about where I place in races.
I really hate that question, probably because I never place anywhere worth mentioning. This question is always asked by people whose idea of being active in sports involves sitting on the couch watching sports on TV with one hand in the Cheetos bag while sucking that orange fake cheese stuff off the fingers of their other hand.
The answer I always give is I place in the middle, which isn’t entirely true. I tend to place in the back of the middle, or the front of the back (depending on what I think sounds better at the time) but that is just too hard to explain to someone who is thoroughly convinced that his niece did Ironman Maine.
Yeah, I know. There is no Ironman Maine. You try to explain it to him. I couldn’t.
I always get the nod as if that is respectful enough, to finish in the middle, and the conversation generally moves on. This is fine for me because like I said – I really hate talking about where I place – it is irrelevant to me.
My placement would probably change if I ate less cupcakes, but I digress.
Anyway after my usual “I finish in the middle” answer, I was expecting the conversation to move on but instead I got:
“So, you don’t train to win?”
Um.
I don’t like that question.
I mean, I don’t train to lose.
I train so I can be the best I can be on race day, I train so I can reach my goals. Once those goals are reached, I set them higher – whether it is a longer race or to do the same distance at a faster time. Or to do something completely different, who knows? This works for me and feeds my fire to continually better myself and my performance.
But don’t tell me I don’t train to win. I mean, I do not fool myself into thinking I am going to bust out a sub-10 hour Ironman required to win in a month, that is ridiculous. (My plan is to bust out a sub 17 hr Ironman, in case you were wondering.)
I think anyone who faces something that scares them, something that they were not sure they could do, that is chock-full of obstacles – but then they decided to go for it anyway – is a winner. It doesn’t matter to me if it is a 5k or an Ironman and it doesn’t matter if they are the first or last one across that line. They toed up to the line and that takes courage (thank you John Bingham) and to me it doesn’t matter where they (or I) place.
As long as I am first in line for the cupcakes at Cake Placid. Now there is a placement I care about.
oh I LOVE your comment box here
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Alright, I have a HUGE beef with this post.
Triathlon… means something different to EVERYONE. BUT, not ONE of us trains NOT to win. The only thing is that “to win” is completely different to EVERY SINGLE PERSON competing.
What do I train for? I was tired of being a tired, pathetic fat ass. Do I like to place? Yes, is it what I train for? NEVER, I never train so that I can be 1st or 4th or whatever, I train every day because I enjoy it and because I like feeling “normal” amongst my friends and not the “fat guy”.
No one in my family understands triathlons at all. AT ALL. They think I am stupid for this. I like it, it is my happy drug.
As for the interviewer (we won’t refer to him as a friend for this post haha) it’s clear he is like my family, no understanding of the sport, the training, the dedication, the commitment, the sweat, the tears… none of it. They have things they enjoy in life that maybe we don’t understand too.
That is how I take it. We all win when we finish. If you get asked again, when he says well what do you place? Say the same as everyone else, I finish!!!!
rock on Mandy!
Ha ha
I totally agree Matt – it is those that don’t do anything that seem to be the biggest critics, and those that don’t get it ask that question.
Holy crap, I wrote a novel and was STILL FIRST? WINNING!
You are always WINNING Matt!
Definitely hit a nerve with me!! I’m a mid-packer (very similar – back of mid/front of back) and I get that question a lot from my friends that don’t train for triathlons or exercise at all for that matter. They for some reason don’t see a POINT to all of our hours that we spend (in their mind) “wasting” time….argh…or when I can’t get somewhere to later, they said “well did you really need to EXERCISE on your bike for 3 hours?” Ahhhhh- I hear you sister – keep up the good work!!
Thanks Heather ! I totally hear that too – I am lucky, I also have friends who although don’t get it, respect that I do it, you know?
One of my favorite quotes to use as responses to (dumb) questions like that is “I train to redefine possible.”
Oh, and on a side note. For weeks last year when Rev3 was planning the Portland race, I was convinced that everyone was talking about Maine, not Oregon.
While I’m sure Oregon is cool and all, I was really bummed when I realized that the race was on that other coast.
I thought the same thing about Rev3 Portland!! I was excited too!! AND I love what you use as a quote for a response.
Great post! I’m a back of the pack girl, too and no one in my family (and few of my IRL friends) get it either.
I tell them I’m racing myself and my goal is to improve my time from the previous race. They sort of understand that but still think I’m crazy.
Yeah, I get the you are crazy a lot too!! Keep rocking it, I don’t think you are crazy at all!!
First I am wondering why the hell we are all going to Canada next year when we could have stayed in the states and done IM Maine? We are soooo dumb sometimes (-:
We all get questions like this and the vast majority of the people in our lives don’t “get it”. Maybe it is the salesperson in me but I never answer questions like this but always ask another question back to try and uncover the real question from these people.
The real answer most of the times from these people (and their questions) is them feeling insecure about themselves because their dedication and commitment pales in comparison to yours. It is easier to minimize/downplay/degrade your accomplishments then justify their own lack of any – the infallibility if human nature I guess?
I have two (of many) friends who never understood why I got so involved in running, swimming, biking, and just being healthy. When they asked what I was doing the next day and my answer was usually some insane amount of distance in one or two of our sports they would shake their heads and call me crazy.
Over time all of our responses were predictable.
Things have changed and you know why? They came and watched my Ironman.
One of them was there from 6am to 12pm. He was as exhausted as the athletes and they both loved every damn minute of it. They were cheering like madmen for the back of the packers at the end of the night who were suffering like they have never seen people suffer before. They admired and respected the people willing to do this. They now “get it”. One has signed up for a marathon and the other has joined my tri club and has been swimming and biking. I am not longer crazy to them.
Now what you have to do is get your friend out to see Ironman Maine and maybe he will “get it” then!
LOL if there is ever an IM Maine, that is going to be a party!! ha ha I like what you said about your friends going to your IM and now being more active. And you are right, it is other people’s insecurities that make them criticize others that DO.
Great post Mandy. I’ve gotten that a lot too and people just don’t get it (ours are usually followed by oh I’ve done an Ironman before… it was a sprint one, or I’ve done a marathon… it was 4 miles). People don’t understand that you do what you do for the love of it… which is the number one reason!
Besides… the middle to back of the pack people are the best – we get our money’s worth out of racing!
Don’t stop eating the cupcakes my dear!
Totally we get our $$ worth!!
And I will never stop eating cupcakes!!
I win every race I finish.
PS: I’m told ironman Maine is outside Augusta on my kids camp visiting week. This may be a ploy by them for me to come and visit though.
Love it – me too.
I think a lot of people are too scared to sign up for something they KNOW they can’t win (like a race) and they are jealous that you are not afraid.
Good point Alexa – now go ROCK IMCDA!
i hate this question too. i think because i placed a couple of times in rinky dink little races, some people think that im actually good at this….hardly….the better people were just at the better races! i like to think of myself as one of the best of the middle of the packers….and im fine with that!
HEY I like that – best of middle packer!
Great post. My family (parents) like to come up with a thousand reasons why I shouldn’t do Ironman. Fed up with this negativity, I finally said…’well, it’s easy to come up with a million reasons not to do an ironman. Why don’t you spend some time thinking about the reasons TO DO an Ironman instead? I’m already registered anyway!’ Good thing my wife and kids are more supportive, haha.
Also, your post reminded me of the motivational poster in my tri-cave:
“The miracle isn’t that I finished…..the miracle is that I had the courage to start”.
Keep on, Mandy!
Thanks Derek! It is crazy how much people try to under mind you on this stuff, right? Keep rocking it!
I had this conversation recently (with my grandmother so I let it slide
) but she said “good luck, I hope you win” to which i said “Well, I wont win but thank you” She says “Well, try to be more positive. Even if you dont win, we still love you”
ummm…thanks?
Tried to explain it, but she didnt get it
That is really kind of cute about your grandma!
This is a great post Mandy and seriously it is the most absurd question to get and even harder to respond too.
I have gotten to the point that my answer is I train to not be like the majority of Americans which is overweight and stressed because they are upset with themselves for being overweight.
I mean the statements about being crazy for triathlon as well as being crazy for eating a vegetarian diet. I tend not to get into these conversations as much anymore because it is my lifestyle and it is what I do.
I love your take on it and when you cross the finish line at IMLP you will have won while the Cheetoh dude is not. #WINNING.
That is right Jason #WINNING also I can eat Cheetos without them falling on my belly. Bonus!
You’re so on the money here…it’s the folks who have NO idea of what the deal is that are going to give you that question. You do it and you’re soon to be an IM. ‘Nough said.
Thanks Amanda! Crazy, right?
LOVED this post. I’m still struggling with wanting to run, having never been a runner, and this insane desire I have to race a duathlon even though I’ve never in my life raced. EVER. I don’t care about winning – all I want to do is FINISH.
And hopefully not die.
Mandy, you ROCK.
Kat! You WILL finishing and I promise, you won’t die!
But seriously, it takes courage to try. And running is HARD on the body. Keep at it rockstar.
Great post! Fortunately, most of my friends and family, while don’t necessarily ” get it” they are super supportive. They usually don’t ask how I place either, not that I care. I’ve placed all over, top 10%, second to last, one podium spot, dead in the middle.
Being prepared for a race and crossing the finish line with a smile on my face is good enough for me.
Yup. Good enough for me too!
Great post, it’s hard to talk to the persons who don’t know our “world”. Most of them think that the marathon is every kind of running race(no matter the distance). How can they understand that we don’t train to win?
HA I have gotten that so many times – you know – how long is that marathon?
Great Post because I can relate. My friends sometimes do the same thing. They tell me I do not get it…you wake up early everyday and you know you are not going to win the race??? I tell them I am going to win…I have goals and if I hit them I win! Sometimes they get it sometimes they dont and they just look at me weird. Sub 17 hr sounds good to me….IT IS OUR FIRST IRONMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!
I read this post a couple days ago on my phone so I couldn’t really comment easily. And I am glad I couldn’t because it really had me pissed off at the time. I actually thought about a bit during my training. Especially as I watched athletes from Kona-qualifiers all the way down to the guy who just did his first sprint tri this year and hopes to do IMWI next year.
Winning is not first place. Not in this sport. Every single one of us is a freaking winner. Plain and simple.
This reminds me of the question I heard a lot as a teacher: what do you make? Ummm, I try to make a difference.:) Running my first 5k in years mid-July and doing the Unofficial Backwards Triathlon the end of August! Pabst Blue Ribbons to all who compete. I would love for you to come!
There are cupcakes at IMLP?! Sweet!
You train to win within, not how your place amongst others, and that’s what this little game is all about I think! And hell yes on the cupcakes … that’s part of training!!
I love this post. As someone who usually finishes in the bottom 25% of a race and is somewhat frustrated by this I have to continue to tell myself that I am racing against myself. Did I improve at a race? Then that’s a win! Thanks for sharing!
All the new people I talk to the first thing I tell them is that it’s “their race”. Just because they are training for a ‘triathlon’ it doesn’t mean they have to be Chrissie Wellington or even ‘want to win’ unless they want to. It seems to be the hardest bridge to gap. I don’t race to win, I race to train. Does that make sense? Raceday is not my favourite day, it’s the training and progress you see during your training season that is the meat of it for me.
YOU totally rock!!! My goal this year is to move from the back of the back to the mid or lead back of the pack. hahahaha My next goal, race with Mandy!
thats kind of a tough question but you answered perfectly! you train because you love the sport and you can. Totally “your race” and no one elses. and well, cupcakes do help!
Some people just don’t get it!! When I first met my husband (so he was just my bf at the time;) I was running some local 5k (which in DC still means a couple thousand people). As I was heading to the race he asked “do you think you’re going to win?” I just laughed hysterically at him. It took me a while to explain it to him, and for him going to a few races to really get it. I will never be as good as some (okay, a lot) of those other athletes, but that still doesn’t mean I can’t compete against myself and be the best me I can be and have goals and PRs and all that. Plus, triathlon is a lifestyle, not just a ‘competition.’