I could paint a pretty picture of the joys of Ironman training and life, how everything is going swimmingly, and that I have ran 100 miles, biked 5000 miles, and swam 6000yds this week.
But that isn’t the case.
I am having a tough time training.
Things have been busy at work. I have been leaving the house at 5am, which really screws with fitting in a morning run or ride. Then I get home at 6:30-7pm. I am kind of beat at that point, and the thought of suiting up and going back out into the rain for a run or ride just seems like a little more than I can bear.
Plus, a girls gotta eat…
The other day I was so busy I had oatmeal (with yogurt, walnuts, and berries…yum) for breakfast before work, then had about 6 Tic Tacs for lunch.
By the time I got home I was starving and I think I just had a box of Annie’s mac and cheese, took a shower, and went to bed.
So you can see I am struggling with training.
I really do love my job and want to do well. I am in my truck a lot, so I could in theory stop whenever I want to and grab lunch. I could make my appointments with my landowners a little later… But it isn’t that simple. There is a lot more to it than that, and a lot of background stuff that needs to be done.
I had a bit of a breakdown over this this week. I was looking at my pictures from Ironman Lake Placid and suddenly was hit with “There is no fing way I am going to be ready for IMMT at this pace.”
I just don’t want to go to the race and be completely miserable because I am under-trained.
I have considered backing out of IMMT. The thought makes my throat all tight. That is how I know I want this, because I almost start crying when I think of having to NOT do it (talk about a psycho).
So I have been in angst. Feeling like there was this huge wall up in front of me, blocking my ability to train. To do this race I want to do so badly.
So I have been thinking about this all week. This morning, I remembered one of my favorite quotes…
The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people! ~Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
Oh yeah. That’s right. I am not supposed to let the walls stop me. I just need to figure out a way around it.
I talked with my boss about giving up IMMT (this is before I remembered Randy Pausch) and he told me he hated for me to give that up, that he didn’t want me to give that up because he knows how important it is to me. He said if there was anything he could do to help so I could do the race, he would do it.
At the time I was pretty bummed and down about the whole situation. I think when you get to that place you miss a lot of opportunity (a hand up over the wall, so to speak). So I told him as busy as things were, I didn’t think I had anywhere to put the training.
Now I am rethinking that.
I am hoping that the last two weeks were just busy, and that things will become more normal starting this week. I will continue to get up at 4am – but I will fit in a workout instead of just breakfast, contacts, brush teeth, leave for work. And try my hardest to get back by 6pm, or maybe carry running gear in my truck to get my run in before I get home. I could feasibly leave my bike at work and ride at night after work as well, and then go home.
See, there are all kinds of options. So I am not giving up IMMT. At least not without a fight.
Since I am on a Randy Pausch kick in this post, I will end it with another great one:
You just have to decide whether you are Tigger or an Eeyore. You have to be clear where you stand on the Tigger/Eeyore debate.
I am definitaly a Tigger, not an Eeyore.